WORDS THE DOG KNOWS

This list was complied in advance of a series of concurrent vacations. Isaac the Wonder Dog is going to visit his Auntie V for a week. While he’s away, we, the Isaac the Wonder Dog Support Staff, are going to visit some friends in Toronto. Auntie V stated in a press release issued late last week that she intends to spoil the Wonder Dog rotten. Auntie V has never had a dog before, as far as we know, so, in addition to a nine page document detailing the WD’s top seven emergency phone numbers, his food and walking schedule, tips on how best to play ball, as well as disciplinary guidelines and various strategies for keeping one step ahead of the dog, we’ve also issued this list of Words the Dog Knows in a pre-emptive effort to preserve Auntie V’s sanity.

It should be noted that Isaac the Wonder Dog knows more words than these, but we do not wish Auntie V to think us either to be bragging or to be crazy. So let it be amended that these are the most important words the dog knows, and on a final note, “you” for the purposes of this document, refers to Auntie V.

Isaac – the dog knows his name because it’s the word he hears most often. that said, he also responds to: peaches, pookie, pumpkin, noodle, sweet pea, poodle, buddy and handsome. basically, he knows when you’re talking to him. and he loves it. feel free to make up your own pet names.

no – the most important word in the dog’s vocabulary. don’t be afraid to use it.

sit – if at first he doesn’t sit, repeat until he sits. pointing at the ground helps.

lie down or lay down – same as above, plus he’s flexible about bad grammar.

go lie down – this isn’t a punishment. it’s more of a suggestion. sometimes he thinks it’s his duty to stick around and entertain you. sometimes he just doesn’t know how tired he is. in either case, once he’s told to do so he’s very happy to go take nap.

up – this can apply to anything. especially useful for couches and stairs. or if he’s lying on something and you want him to get off it. or if he doesn’t believe it’s time to go out.

down – can also apply to anything but is less often used. he’s not a jumper, our dog.

stay – use at intersections, in the alley to get him to wait while you get the leash of him, and in the house when you’re leaving a room but coming right back cause sometimes he’ll follow you from room to room. once again, pointing helps get the point across.

okay – for when the staying is done, and, for example, it’s safe to cross the street.

it’s okay – for when he’s afraid of something, like lightening, or when he thinks you’re mad and him, especially if you were mad at him but now you’re over it.

you want to go out? you want to go for a walk? you ready? – ask him in just the right way and he’ll stick his ears out and cock his head at you. don’t ask if you don’t mean it.

where’s your ball? – useful for getting ready to leave the house. he’ll go find his ball.

not that ball. where’s you other ball? – useful for if he brings you a busted ball.

drop – indispensable in ball play. if you try and pull a ball or a stick from his mouth he thinks you’re playing the pulling game. he always wins the pulling game.

over here – for when he wants to play ball in the kitchen while you’re doing dishes or cooking but he’s pointing at the ball way too far away from you for you to kick it, or for when you’re in the alley and you want him to run around be hind you so you don’t kick the ball directly into him.

come – he loves this one. except when it’s late at night and he’s sniffing in slow-motion.

let’s go – for when you’ve really had it with the slow-motion sniffing on the late walk.

that’s enough – you have to tell him sometimes, because really he doesn’t know.

Okay, that’s enough.

Good Luck Auntie V, from the Isaac the Wonder Dog Support Staff.
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