The Adventures of Isaac and Auntie V
The following is a third-hand account of some of the adventures Isaac the Wonder Dog had during his week with Auntie V. Much of this narrative was compiled from the WD’s own notes. Note that throughout this document, we are referred to as m+d. It took us a while to figure out, but that means mom and dad. Purely for comparison purposes we provide you here with a before photo of Auntie V and Isaac the Wonder Dog:
First night: Isaac stands out on Auntie V’s balcony watching m+d disappear down the street. Auntie V lets him sleep in her bedroom, even though he snores. The next morning m+d take the train to Toronto.
Second night: Isaac sends m+d a text message: auntie v ruined her sandals playin ball w me in the alley – shes so cool. 8 my dinner, now im napping.
Third night: Isaac texts again: went w auntie v 2 visit Milo, taught him to play ball. Note that Milo is a boy of approximately seven.
Fourth night: Isaac almost drops dead from the heat. Auntie V almost drops dead from the heat too. But as far as m+d know, everything is fine.
Fifth night: 10:14 PM m+d get a text message from Auntie V that reads: guess who just got skunked. fuck. fuckin fuck fuck. fk. A flurry of text messaging ensues. Isaac gets a tomato juice bath but he still stinks. Auntie V gets stinking drunk and at 4AM she punches her friend Dan.
Sixth night: Auntie V texts: has pooch had rabies shot? got it in the mouth – still bugging him a bit. tomato juice better not fucking count as people food. m+d had sternly warned Auntie V against giving people food to the WD, but she went ahead and wash Isaac’s mouth out with tomato juice anyway. And it did the trick! m+d text: u r our hero.
Seventh night: m+d text: has skunk stench abated? are you and Isaac still fiends? Auntie V replies: we r much better. back to scaring hassidic kids in the alley. m+d: u 2 r bonded 4 life now! auntie v: 4 life 2 long. till wed ok.
On Wednesday m+d are reunited with Isaac the Wonder Dog. By then Auntie V’s apartment doesn’t smell like skunk at all, though m+d had tacitly agreed that even if it did they would swear it didn’t. Auntie V would like to interject at this point to say: don't forget the part about m+d not taking the skunks too seriously until... It’s true. She warned us that there were skunks in her hood. And we didn’t take her seriously at all.
As the after photo clearly indicates, Isaac and Auntie V came out of the skunk stench scandal smelling like roses and yes, they’re still friends.
. . . . .
First night: Isaac stands out on Auntie V’s balcony watching m+d disappear down the street. Auntie V lets him sleep in her bedroom, even though he snores. The next morning m+d take the train to Toronto.
Second night: Isaac sends m+d a text message: auntie v ruined her sandals playin ball w me in the alley – shes so cool. 8 my dinner, now im napping.
Third night: Isaac texts again: went w auntie v 2 visit Milo, taught him to play ball. Note that Milo is a boy of approximately seven.
Fourth night: Isaac almost drops dead from the heat. Auntie V almost drops dead from the heat too. But as far as m+d know, everything is fine.
Fifth night: 10:14 PM m+d get a text message from Auntie V that reads: guess who just got skunked. fuck. fuckin fuck fuck. fk. A flurry of text messaging ensues. Isaac gets a tomato juice bath but he still stinks. Auntie V gets stinking drunk and at 4AM she punches her friend Dan.
Sixth night: Auntie V texts: has pooch had rabies shot? got it in the mouth – still bugging him a bit. tomato juice better not fucking count as people food. m+d had sternly warned Auntie V against giving people food to the WD, but she went ahead and wash Isaac’s mouth out with tomato juice anyway. And it did the trick! m+d text: u r our hero.
Seventh night: m+d text: has skunk stench abated? are you and Isaac still fiends? Auntie V replies: we r much better. back to scaring hassidic kids in the alley. m+d: u 2 r bonded 4 life now! auntie v: 4 life 2 long. till wed ok.
On Wednesday m+d are reunited with Isaac the Wonder Dog. By then Auntie V’s apartment doesn’t smell like skunk at all, though m+d had tacitly agreed that even if it did they would swear it didn’t. Auntie V would like to interject at this point to say: don't forget the part about m+d not taking the skunks too seriously until... It’s true. She warned us that there were skunks in her hood. And we didn’t take her seriously at all.
As the after photo clearly indicates, Isaac and Auntie V came out of the skunk stench scandal smelling like roses and yes, they’re still friends.
. . . . .
posted by J. R. Carpenter at
4:20 PM
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